May 2010

4th May, 2010. 63 days to go. 9 weeks. 2 months. Seems like a lot of time. Truth be told though, it just isn't. 2 months can never be equal to 2 years. And yet, I'm embarking on this mission to achieve what seems to be close to impossible. Dedication, perseverance, hard work, blah blah blah. These things run in my head all the time, it's absolute chaos in there, something that I cannot figure out after having lived for 17 years with myself.
IB grades have never been this important to me, not before today. Not before I saw my parents overlooking Basu's tirade of endless abuses and utterly demotivating crap, for the lack of a better word. Sometimes, I wish I could go to him and tell him how much I hate him. Tell him that how many ever times he tells me not to use the lift, I don't give a rat's ass about his fucking opinion. I don't give a fuck about what he thinks of me or my apparently "gloomy future" and he can just go and shove it. Personal vendetta is one thing, trying to ruin a student on the basis of a personal vendetta is the most immature and pathetic thing I have ever seen. Quite obviously I don't think very highly of Mr Abhimanyu Basu and the apparent authority he commands in school because truly, no one respects that man. The only reason we, as IB students, listen to him is because we fear him and hate him for his brutality. And thus, I pity that fat excuse for a man.
But here, I deviate. Getting back to May 2010, the following three months will be one of the most crucial phases of my life and nothing can stand in the way of me trying to work towards a grade good enough to leave Basu gobsmacked. Math has never been my forte even though I aced my IGCSE 10th grade with an A*. Yet, the IGCSE now seems like a small and insignificant hurdle in the light of the forthcoming exams. Yes,  I hate Math with a true vengeance, almost as much as I hate Basu. But I vow to forget that I hate it, no I cannot love it, I wouldn't ask for the impossible. But I can always forget that I hate it, just for 3 months. Seems like a small price to pay for a life full of hopes and aspirations devoid of all aforementioned gloominess. Psychology, I love. And yet, I cannot do well. Disappoints me sometimes. But 63 days is not too less to master what I've lost out on. Okay so maybe I might have to stress my STM and LTM to encode better (wow, I'm already doing it!) but it's okay. As long as I get into a good university/college, nothing seems too difficult.
Today I rediscovered my love for Ms Chinai. Yes, she has been mighty mean to me sometimes but I will not absolve myself of all guilt by holding her responsible for it. I have been a lax student and she has only tried to be a good teacher. When she offered that she would speak to the University where she works at to admit me based on conditional SAT and IB final psychology scores, I swear my heart leaped into my mouth and right into my hands. And if it weren't too gross, I would've offered it to her, because really, no other teacher (besides Mr Joshi of course) has ever cared so much. It's a mighty good feeling.
With a resolve to ace the IB in May 2010 (and shut Basu up forever), I depart now to resume doing my lab reports.
Good luck to me. :)