Shitty day :S

So today's just been one of "those" days. Shitty like hell.
Idk why either.. I think it's just cause everything that has happened today hasn't really got me looking up to tomorrow. Every seems to be the same long drawn process..the same damn cycle. You just end up back at square one.
I miss my boyfriend right now. Immensely. I really wanted to talk to him about my day, he always seems to make everything seem better and happier and lighter. But now he's gone off to sleep. And all I wish is I was next to him, cuddled up next up to him, his arms around me..everything would seem infinitesimally better. But he's probably asleep by now, and I really hate to disturb him. It seems unfair that he should give up on his sleep cause I'm in a fucked up mood..which is why I'm not going to disturb him.
Even though he reassured me just about 20 minutes ago that everything will be okay, I can't help but ruminate about what he was telling me in the evening. And I really don't want him to get into shit cause of me :(! I mean, his mom is all possessive about him which is perfectly understandable because he's such a good son..he does all he can for her, and for his dad, and his grandparents. So it's perfectly understandable that they're scared that they'll lose him to me. But how do I convince them that I won't? I mean there's no parallel that can be drawn between familial ties and romantic liasons, can there? He said that his mum would eventually understand and that she was just possessive. But I really really want him to be happy and sure of what he's doing. Cause sometimes, when you're way deep into something, it's hard to choose. And life is always about choices. It's how you prioritise things that matters. And I'm pretty confident that he knows how to choose between the choices he might be given. But I just hope the choices we both have to make don't hurt the both of us.
I hate the IB just by the way. Unless you are a masochistic, emo freak, do NOT take the IB. I don't think I can handle all this pressure for another 9 months. I'm going to crumble like rubble under this pressure. I feel like crying. I feel like ripping my hair out. I feel like running away from all this. I can't handle trying to fit into the ideal that my parents have created for me. A 42-point averaging, extra-curricular obsessed, unsocial freak. I really can't become like that. The last time I wrote a good poem or any other piece of literature was eons ago! I was supposed to be the creative one..the one that weaved stories in her head, the one who wrote poems that elicited strong emotions from it's readers. I don't know where that version of me is gone, I seemed to have lost her. And I don't know where or how to find her. And I'm scared that if I lose that me, I'll be freaking devastated.
I thought a mid-life crisis occured at the age of 45. I'm fucking 16, turning 17 in a month. I'm suffering from one now. Being a teenager isn't as easy as it seems. Especially a teenager imprisoned by the IB and a set of overambitious parents.